Has your relationship hit troubled times?

Are you arguing frequently or not understanding one another?

Has an issue arisen that is painful or difficult for the two of you to deal with?

Are you feeling overwhelmed and in need of support?

You CAN work through these issues to a place of deeper connection and love in your marriage/relationship!

To arrange a Relationship Counselling session with Daren

Please read this page which gives details of Daren’s approach to relationship counselling.  At the bottom of this page you can read about how to arrange a relationship counselling session with Daren.

Relationship Counselling background

All relationships go through cycles.  Sometimes we have a strong sense of closeness, love and intimacy.  At other times we feel distant, disconnected, angry and resentful.  These cycles are natural.  When things go wrong we may think or be told that it is because we are with the wrong person.  However, it is more likely that our relationship is challenging us to work through the blocks within us and between us, to move to a deeper level of love and connection with one another.

Working through issues in relationships is not easy and when they occur it is often helpful to get support from someone who understands the deeper patterns and dynamics of relationships.  Which is why it can be beneficial to seek relationship counselling/marriage guidance.  This is not an admittance of failure but a statement of intent – that you value your relationship and want to put the effort into it that it deserves!

“Working with Daren has breathed new life into my marriage – we were seriously considering divorce when we started working with him, and now we are in better shape than ever! With his help we have learned how to listen to each other better and to communicate more effectively.  Daren is endlessly patient, wise and compassionate, and he brilliantly models what he teaches.  I am so grateful to him and would recommend him without hesitation to any couple looking to re-connect with each other.” – Sarah D

“Thank you Daren for the session today, it was really useful.  I felt that I got the clarity I needed from the time you spent with me and it gave me a lot of food for thought.  I feel better afterwards.” – JW

“Thanks Daren, you gave me an enormous insight into what is going on in my relationship.” – EG

How and Why Daren Can Help You

• Daren is trained in relationship counselling, having completed a Diploma in Relationship Psychodynamics with the Centre for Gender Psychology.  So he understands the dynamics that occur in relationships and he can help you to understand what is happening in your own relationship.

• Daren is a certifed trainer with, and UK representative of, the Centre for Nonviolent Communication, which specialises in empathic listening.  So he can help you to improve the quality of your listening to each other in your marriage or relationship.

• Daren is a trained mediator, so if you are in conflict with each other, he can help you find your way through to mutual understanding and he can help you come to agreements that work for you both.  And your arguments won’t phase Daren!

• Daren identifies as male (though he appreciates the complexity and nuances of human identity, along with our multiplicity on a deeper psychological level), and as such is well placed to understand and support men, who can be uncomfortable attending relationship counselling and can also be daunted at the thought of facing a female counsellor as well as their wife/partner!  Daren can also share his own personal experience and the lessons he has learned through applying the principles he has learnt in his own relationship.

• At the same time, through his training in empathic listening and in the principles of relationship communication, Daren is also well-placed to hear and understand women and help their partner to understand their perspective.

• Daren has also worked with, and is happy to work with, LGBTQIA+ couples where one or both partners identify as non-heterosexual or non-cisgender.

 

Relationship Counselling – How will Daren work with you?

• First session: In your first session, Daren will hear from you about the issues in your relationship that have brought you to relationship counselling/marriage guidance and begin to help you to gain some understanding about these issues.  From your side, you will both have a chance to see how Daren works with you, whether it is helpful for you, and whether both of you feel comfortable working with him.

• Ongoing Sessions: If you feel comfortable with Daren and his approach, you may decide to continue with further sessions.  Couples often come with and handful of issues in their relationship that they need to address and we will focus on these issues during the sessions and progressively work our way through them.

• Frequency and number of sessions: You are free to come to as many relationship counselling/marriage guidance sessions as you wish at the frequency that suits you.  When you feel that you have gained what you need you are free to stop.  Many couples opt for fortnightly sessions, as this gives sufficient time for you to work on and explore material further before returning.  If you are in crisis and need more support you can meet with Daren more frequently.  For some couples it can be helpful to think in terms of making a commitment to a block of 6 sessions.  You can view this as making a commitment to and investment in your relationship.  In this respect, relationships are no different from our work lives, where we need to commit to regular training and meetings if we want to make improvements!  After a course of 6 sessions, some couples choose to return monthly or bi-monthly, to help them maintain their relationship.

• Session length: Sessions are usually either 50 or 1 hour 20 mins in length.  1 hour & 20 mins is usually best for a first session, as time is needed to share about yourselves and outline your issues to Daren.  Daren is open to longer sessions if that would suit your circumstances better.

• Nonviolent Communication: One of the key tools that Daren works with is Nonviolent Communication (NVC).  The name can sound off-putting – it is actually a powerful tool for self-connection, as well as for empathising and understanding your partner and to help resolve conflicts.  You can read an overview of NVC on the About NVC page of this website.  If you are unfamiliar with NVC, Daren can present a basic outline the key principles to you during one of your sessions.  If you wish, Daren can also point you to two or three Youtube videos that you can view to support you to incorporate this approach into your communication.

Locations and Availability

Online:.  Daren is currently seeing clients almost exclusively online, using Zoom or other formats.  Daren has worked successfully online with both individuals and couples for many years and for many people it can be as effective as face to face sessions.  However, Daren appreciates that some couples prefer in person sessions.

Hastings:  Daren currently has some limited availability to see couples face to face in Hastings.

Central London:  Due to the impact of Covid19, Daren has suspended his face to face consultations with couples in central London.  At present he isn’t sure whether he will return to offering sessions in London, as he is almost at full capacity working almost exclusively online, which is easier due to travel and room hire logistics.  He is monitoring patterns and online habits and may return to face to face sessions in London at some point in the future.

Availability:  Daren sees couples from Wednesdays to Fridays between the hours of 10am and 8pm.  He also sees couples on Saturdays when he is not facilitating a weekend training or workshop.

 

Annual combined gross income	Monthly combined gross income	Fee for 50 minute session	Fee for 1 hour & 20 min session	Fee for 1 hour & 50 min session
Less than £20,000	Less than £1,666	£70	£105	£140
£20,000 to £40,000	£1,666 to £2,500	£80	£120	£160
£40,000 to £65,000	£2,500 to £3,750	£90	£135	£180
more than £65,000	more than £3,750	£100	£150	£200

If you are wanting a 1-to-1 session about your relationship (i.e. without your partner), fees are as follows:

Annual gross income	Monthly gross income	Fee for 50 minute session	Fee for 1 hour & 20 min session	Fee for 1 hour & 50 min session
Less than £20,000	Less than £1,666	£60	£90	£120
£20,000 to £30,000	£1,666 to £2,500	£70	£105	£140
£30,000 to £45,000	£2,500 to £3,750	£80	£120	£160
more than £45,000	more than £3,750	£90	£135	£180